unstable, by shawna holman

I feel dizzy lost with out you sometimes, my love
As I sit here in the library
I concentrate on holding the walls up with my will
The shelves, so unstable
Books, so heavy
So vicious
Why aren't you here to help me, my love?
I know
You can't
You were here
I never helped you hold them up
Now I find what you felt all along
Your absence pierces
More than these objects flying all around me
Because I can't control anything anymore
I could make you feel guilty
But why should I do that?
When I was the one who let go?
I let all the books pile up on me, my love
Not you.

© May 1995, Seattle

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